Contact me if you need my services. Here’s my résumé.
Chief Circumference Officer
Big Math Incorporated
PROFESSIONAL SUMMARY
Visionary marketing mastermind responsible for creating the most calculated holiday in human history. Specializing in transforming abstract numbers into cold, hard cash through strategic mathematical propaganda.
CAREER ACHIEVEMENTS
• Invented Pi Day (March 14th): Orchestrated the most successful numerical marketing campaign in history
• Increased quarterly sales of protractors by 3.14159%
• Convinced millions to celebrate a number by eating circular foods
• Turned irrational numbers into rational profits
• Viral Marketing Campaigns
• Developed slogan: “Make Math Appetizing™”
• Pioneered the concept of selling commemorative calculator cases and clothing
• Created nationwide excitement around decimal points and geometric shapes
SPECIAL SKILLS
• Extreme decimal point manipulation
• Circumference calculation under pressure
• Turning numerical jokes into corporate strategy
• Advanced pie chart presentations (both mathematical and edible)
EDUCATION
Ph.D. in Numerical Persuasion
University of Strategic Calculations
• Dissertation: “How to Round Up Consumer Interest”
• Graduated with a perfect 3.14 GPA
REFERENCES
Available upon irrational request. Serious inquiries only. No acute angles.
Contact me if you need my services. Here’s my résumé.
Chief Circumference Officer
Big Math Incorporated
PROFESSIONAL SUMMARY
Visionary marketing mastermind responsible for creating the most calculated holiday in human history. Specializing in transforming abstract numbers into cold, hard cash through strategic mathematical propaganda.
CAREER ACHIEVEMENTS
• Invented Pi Day (March 14th): Orchestrated the most successful numerical marketing campaign in history
• Increased quarterly sales of protractors by 3.14159%
• Convinced millions to celebrate a number by eating circular foods
• Turned irrational numbers into rational profits
• Viral Marketing Campaigns
• Developed slogan: “Make Math Appetizing™”
• Pioneered the concept of selling commemorative calculator cases and clothing
• Created nationwide excitement around decimal points and geometric shapes
SPECIAL SKILLS
• Extreme decimal point manipulation
• Circumference calculation under pressure
• Turning numerical jokes into corporate strategy
• Advanced pie chart presentations (both mathematical and edible)
EDUCATION
Ph.D. in Numerical Persuasion
University of Strategic Calculations
• Dissertation: “How to Round Up Consumer Interest”
• Graduated with a perfect 3.14 GPA
REFERENCES
Available upon irrational request. Serious inquiries only. No acute angles.
“I don’t cut corners - I calculate them!”
Contact:
π.R.Rational@BigMath.com
Thanks for lightening the subjects
Yes, but now horses are suffering.
Communism is Jewish, how is it antisemitic?
All of these are GREAT!